Classification of Unilag Students (2) - An Article By Estelle Shuga
Happy Sunday to all my readers. Quite a number of people have been requesting for the concluding part of this article. As such I was forced to drop it today. In case you couldn't find your category among the first 5 listed, I have a deep conviction that you'll find it in these 5 categories I'm about to explain.
So what do you say? How about you fasten your seat belt and let me take you on a roller coaster ride. Oya, back to the matter on ground # Classification of Unilag students. He he he he!!! Some people are shaking.
6. The Toasters/ Lover boys
Hmmn. These ones have issues. They have the sweetest lyrics. If they woo a babe, she will fall on the spot. I heard that most law students fall under this category because of one course they offer that has to do with poetry. I am not there o! I am only reporting what I heard! Back to the matter, these guys can love more than love itself. Sometimes i just get tired of their matter. When they are not John Legend. You guys should better come back to Nigeria o and quit all those sweet lines because Unilag girls these days don't have time for grammar.
Hmmn. These ones have issues. They have the sweetest lyrics. If they woo a babe, she will fall on the spot. I heard that most law students fall under this category because of one course they offer that has to do with poetry. I am not there o! I am only reporting what I heard! Back to the matter, these guys can love more than love itself. Sometimes i just get tired of their matter. When they are not John Legend. You guys should better come back to Nigeria o and quit all those sweet lines because Unilag girls these days don't have time for grammar.
Strange but true o. I heard that some girls fall under this category o. Kilode gaan? When did woman start toasting man. They wee not kuku respect themselves. Later now the guy wee chop their money and dump them. What will i not hear in this Unilag? Hmmn!
7. The Socialites
This is another very interesting category that i love. I call them M.T.N 'everywhere you go'. They have social prominence and influence on campus. Please note, not all socialites are big boys/ girls. But they have their own level too. Unilag is all about levels. Don't go and pass your boundary if not O.Y.O. Don't say i didn't warn you o!
There are also two sub divisions in this group:
a. The brainee socialites
b. The brainless socialites
Without much ado, the brainee socialites are smart. They face their studies and their social life. They try to create balance between both fields. ( 70:30 or 65: 35 - their school/ social life ratio). They follow the philosophy of 'work hard play hard'. I respect this category of students. They know what they are doing.
This is another very interesting category that i love. I call them M.T.N 'everywhere you go'. They have social prominence and influence on campus. Please note, not all socialites are big boys/ girls. But they have their own level too. Unilag is all about levels. Don't go and pass your boundary if not O.Y.O. Don't say i didn't warn you o!
There are also two sub divisions in this group:
a. The brainee socialites
b. The brainless socialites
Without much ado, the brainee socialites are smart. They face their studies and their social life. They try to create balance between both fields. ( 70:30 or 65: 35 - their school/ social life ratio). They follow the philosophy of 'work hard play hard'. I respect this category of students. They know what they are doing.
Hmmn, the brainless socialites. Well scientifically speaking, no living human is brainless. It is just a metaphor for the type of life they live. They have great social lives but do not strive to strike a balance between their books and their social life. Most of them just have a shallow mentality. They believe in the ideology of just 'coming to school' to get a certificate. Please note that there is a difference between 'coming to school' and 'learning'. A lot of students just pick whatever they want. Some don't even take anything. Maybe that's an exaggeration because the human brain in its magnificent manner picks up bits of information that are stored in our memory. Well the human brain is a topic for another day.
8. The Problem Solvers
Also known as the 'good hearted individuals', these students are real friends. We all need them in our lives. They are calm, easy going and always willing to assist anybody in need. I know because i have a few of them as friends. They always have your back no matter what. But the issue now is that some bad belle people like to take advantage of these set of students. Girls most especially do it to the good boys. They will 'chop' their money like as if the boys are their free ATM. You will just be seeing them with 'Salado packs', chicken and chips and you know the rest. I just heard that some even collect school fees. Ahnn! Is the boy your father? . But the one that still baffles me is that of the boys. I heard that some even go to the extent of collecting money from the good girl to buy land. E joor, is the girl your savings account? Kilode? Go and work for your own money. The lightning that will strike all these bad belles is kuku doing press up. Watch out!
Also known as the 'good hearted individuals', these students are real friends. We all need them in our lives. They are calm, easy going and always willing to assist anybody in need. I know because i have a few of them as friends. They always have your back no matter what. But the issue now is that some bad belle people like to take advantage of these set of students. Girls most especially do it to the good boys. They will 'chop' their money like as if the boys are their free ATM. You will just be seeing them with 'Salado packs', chicken and chips and you know the rest. I just heard that some even collect school fees. Ahnn! Is the boy your father? . But the one that still baffles me is that of the boys. I heard that some even go to the extent of collecting money from the good girl to buy land. E joor, is the girl your savings account? Kilode? Go and work for your own money. The lightning that will strike all these bad belles is kuku doing press up. Watch out!
9. The Borrowers/ Beggers
These ones can borrow another person's life if given the chance. They are also in two categories. We have the group that have but are just not contented with what they have. Then we have the ones that just love to beg or borrow.
The first set has a psychological problem. If not, why will you want another person's property even when you have a better one? They are 'possessive freaks'.
These ones can borrow another person's life if given the chance. They are also in two categories. We have the group that have but are just not contented with what they have. Then we have the ones that just love to beg or borrow.
The first set has a psychological problem. If not, why will you want another person's property even when you have a better one? They are 'possessive freaks'.
The second set has a spiritual problem. Please tell me what can make someone just feel like borrowing or begging to the extent that they cannot do without it? E gba mi ke? Abi are they following that person from his/her village? Or the person's fore fathers did not appease the gods of the land properly? Or did your Ex give you hot yam and oil in your dream? Anyway, please avoid these people because such illness is highly contagious. Don't say I didn't warn you o!
One piece of advice. Don't make the mistake of lending them your notes. If not you will most likely get them after the exam; that's if you're lucky or in your final year.
10. The Thieves
This classification would not be complete without them. They can steal anything. If you're not smart, they can even steal you; your past, present and future. Hmmn, that reminds me o!I just heard one big grammar today o. They said it is 'kleptomaniac'. Yes, i got it. Please what is that? In this Nigeria? They have not yet beaten the living daylight out of that person. You will steal my stuff and blame it on the innocent medical condition 'kleptomania'? I will show you pepper. I will beat your destiny. Please o, shine your eyes o.
This classification would not be complete without them. They can steal anything. If you're not smart, they can even steal you; your past, present and future. Hmmn, that reminds me o!I just heard one big grammar today o. They said it is 'kleptomaniac'. Yes, i got it. Please what is that? In this Nigeria? They have not yet beaten the living daylight out of that person. You will steal my stuff and blame it on the innocent medical condition 'kleptomania'? I will show you pepper. I will beat your destiny. Please o, shine your eyes o.
This leads us to another two sub divisions of these thieves. We have the rugged and the stylish thieves. The rugged thief will steal from you and there is nothing you can do about it. Please don't go and form Jackie Chan or Jason Statham. They will beat your soul out of you. On judgement day your soul will still be in the hospital. Just let them go jeje! God will fight your battle. Don't say I didn't warn you o!
The stylish thieves are 'posh' .They are 'tush'. I call them 'Kudi klepto'. I hail you guys o. Their packaging alone is enough deceit. They steal quality. They are mostly girls. No offense my female folks but i must speak the truth. Their hand bags are like cabins with different compartments. They have both internal and external storage. They said the entire Aso Rock can enter their bags. Please just incase, you can allow Yusuf Buhari to come out because our wedding is just around the corner. Hmmn! I just heard that they now have spiritual storage o. E joor! Na article i dey write o before then come and visit me this night.
With all the afore mentioned categories, I am very sure that we all know where we belong. Check yourself o. Tataafos don't bother knowing mine. It's not there!
A piece of advice to my akokites. Just be yourself. Never try to be someone else because you might lose yourself in the process. Instead make out time to discover yourself. Remember: pass through Unilag and let Unilag pass through you. Don't let it pass you by or carry you away. Be good and don't do drugs! Estelle Shuga loves y'all
You can download my full article on Hush Magazine (yes I write for magazines too)
http://hushng.com/magazine-2/
http://hushng.com/magazine-2/
Follow me on IG & TT @Estelle_shuga and @Estelleshugablog
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